Irish Senator With A Texting Addiction Has Solution To Video Game Addiction
Senator Healy Eames, a middle aged Irish politician with a mommy streak a mile wide thinks that game consoles should have some sort of lockout microchip that shuts the console down after two hours. She doesn't really specify if she means a parental control chip or that it's just a new feature of the console that it will only run for two hours every couple of hours.
Senator Healy Eames, Fine Gael Seanad spokeswoman on social protection, said she will be contacting the National Consumer Agency and manufacturers in a bid to have the time limits installed. She said teenagers had become addicted to games and controls needed to be installed.
“It is only now that research on the addictive nature of these gaming consoles is beginning to emerge. What we need is quick action and I believe it is not unreasonable to demand some class of a microchip to be installed that shuts the game down after two hours, and that it cannot be restarted for another period of time,” she said.
“We are soon to be putting images on cigarette boxes to prevent smoking because of the impact on health and its addictive quality. This is not far behind in respect of lasting damage.
“Thousands of our children, teens and even young married men are spending endless hours on these machines and it is impacting on their emotional and mental health also.”
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2011/0808/1224302023687.html
One death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. I am sure Senator Eames feels video games are a waste of time and that only useless degenerates and impressionable children play them for any length of time because the "real world" has so much more to offer.
And it's not just degenerates and children, young married men are falling victim to the irresistible lure of video games. They are no doubt neglecting their young wives by not copulating with them constantly with the goal of producing offspring which they can then spend every waking moment raising for the next eighteen years so that they can claim to be productive members of society. Perhaps these young married men should be spending more time at the pub supporting the local economy, or watching sporting events either live or on TV. Honestly, I am not sure what young married Irish men ought to be doing exactly, but if they've been driven to playing video games for endless hours then clearly there is a serious [health] issue that needs addressing.
The lockout chip Senator Eamese is proposing could also be placed on cellphones and other mobile devices which would help her address her own very serious self-admitted texting addiction (http://fidelmahealyeames.ie/achievements/) which she mistakenly labels as an achievement when it's clearly nothing to be proud of. But perhaps now that the dangers of electronic addiction have become so apparent she will change her position right away.
As a concerned foreigner, I call on Senator Eames to just not stop at video games and mobile phones because they're only the most recent in a long line of frivolous modern activities that have been chipping away at the very edifice of society. Naturally TV's should also have these lockout microchips, I am sure there is evidence just as strong supporting the harmful effects of TV addicts. DVD & Blu-Ray players also ought to have the same lockout chips, as an extension of TV addiction that is even more insidious because there is less chance that the TV addict will give up and go do something worthwhile because there is nothing on to watch. These nefarious devices active encourage and enable people to be able to control their viewing and are able to maintain marathon levels of addictive viewing going completely uninterrupted. Clearly any device that can accesses the Internet needs the same lockout chip because the Internet combines every for of addictive electronic medium and pastime for the last two hundred years into one package and if anything needs to be controlled for the good of public health this is it. Computers should also have these same lockout chips because like consoles they can play video games, and because they're used so often in jobs where people have to sit in front of them and work eight to twelve hours a day thus creating a health crisis which is exploited by evil corporate overlords that Senator Eames should now be valiantly crusading against.
But that's not all, I also propose that music playing devices have the lockout chip because people waste their lives away listening to music and most of it is trash, especially the stuff I don't listen too. The only activity that takes less activity to engage in is reading books and while I am not sure what can be done about physical books, besides outlaw them outright, all e-readers could employ the lockout chip to keep bookworms from spending their time doing something they like to do for no good reason other than I wouldn't do what they do for the same amount of time they are willing to do it. In fact in an ideal world I don't think any activity should be done for more than two hours because of potential health risks. However the only way we can effectively manage that is to install lockout chips into every human being that would prevent them from engaging in any particular activity for more than two hours. Once we accomplish this then all of societies problems will be addressed.
At this point you might be asking what makes Senator Eames the right person to tackle such a very important issue? Well, Senator Eames solved all the real problems in her constituency like poverty and hunger. After that she successfully campaigned to have her policies installed nationwide which solved all poverty and hunger issues in Ireland. When her policies won her multiple Nobel Peace Prizes and were used to end poverty, hunger and war across the entire planet there wasn't much left to do. With no real problems remaining she set herself to tackling the biggest pseudo-problems that could be found, the scourge of video game addiction. If none of this rings a bell then perhaps you should put down your controller and read a history book, it's all very well documented. Just make sure not to read it for more than two hours, lest you might incur some serious health problems.